Notes from a Prince

I'm not sure if I really have anything to write in here, but I have plenty of time to waste being stuck here in Icehold.

Jaric, Lord of Aurora has forbidden us from returning back to Aegis after I was sent here by Vlad to look for Amarra. Apparently, Amarra didn't want to return which completely confused everyone, since we were together.

This, is completely fucking frustrating. The last I saw of Amarra she ran off at Ralean's party in Grorr. She just left! I assumed she was going back to Draco which is where we were supposed to be setting up our new home once we were married. I was looking forward to it.

She left the ball in a hurry, so I panicked and tried to follow on to Draco. When I had got there, she'd already left and gone. Disappeared. I took straight to Grorr and enlisted the help of Ralean (Duke) to search for her. Word had it she was in Icehold and here I am - fucking stranded.

Amarra said she was threatened AT the ball - when no one saw her threatened at all! She won't even say WHY Bathy and Vlad would want to have her killed. Apparently, she claims sanctuary here in Icehold and now Jaric's probably pissed because it was under false pretences.

Then, shock and horror, I find out during this whole crazy conversation with Jaric, that Vlad has apparently claimed me as crown prince. Great - just great. Hey Vlad, you SOB, why don't you just paint a huge red target DOT on my damn forhead? Maybe its not Amarra who needs to worry about death by those two.

Sure, Bathy's my mother, but she doesn't give a shit about me. She'd rather protect her own skirts and giggle behind Vlad.

There's nothing worse than being a pawn in someone elses game...or am I going insaine from being stuck in this miserable pit?

Now the situation has turned even more surreal than I could have ever imagined.

The great news is that Amarra agreed to come home and we were all able to get out alive - obviously. Even better, Jaric just let us slip away - which isn't like him in the least, but I'll be damned if I question it. Perhaps Angel has made him go soft in his old age.

So here I am, sat in a carriage thinking to myself that all is good in the world. No, that would be a lie...everything WOULD be good, if I wasn't so concerned about what I saw before we left Icehold. I'm freaked out. Angel and Ralean? No, this just can't be happening.

I hope I'm imagining it...but I know what I saw. Ral's full of jest around girls, especially Queens but he was downright bold with her infront of everyone. More horrifying was the way she looked at him. She spoke of some sort of "talk" they had, yet they both had this "knowing" look about them. I know that damn look.

I'm wondering what in nine hells to do next. Nothing would be the right answer, yet he's my best friend. My instinct is to drag him outside of the carriage and tell him to stop being so stupid, since girls aren't worth dying over...but then I'd be calling myself a hypocrate.

Things just get worse and worse, really they do. I've brought it on myself, I admit it. Whilst Ralean, Amarra and I were on our way to the Thunderlands, I just had to go and ask about the whole Angel thing. Sure, I should have kept my nose out - but he's my best mate and really I just expected him to tell me I was full of it.

This is where it gets surreal, because he didn't. He smirked and boasted about it, so I punched him in the face. Funny, I regret that more than finishing it with Amarra.

Yes, its with regret that things just weren't going to work between us. I couldn't do it anymore. I thought I loved her and I honestly wanted to be with her - but she turned out to be different. Something irrepairable. I like a women who knows what she wants, Amarra never did. She had no direction, she refused to take control or responsibility for any of her actions.

Despite these flaws, I couldn't see her die at Icehold. She has a simple mindset, but she didn't deserve death for her ignorance. Thats why I tried to be noble enough to save her and bring her home. I hoped that if we worked at it, then I would be able to shrug off my own personal anger with her that she had randomly run off to Icehold to begin with.

She claims that she had death threats from the King and Queen..yet I was there, no one had threatened her. Even Lord Jaric must have understood this because he let her go. But why was Amarra so paranoid?

I shouldn't dwell on it now.I left her for Rensain to deal with. Cold hearted, I know, but she was forever confused. Even to the point where I couldn't have a simple discussion with her. She seemed to question our relationship and always doubted me. She wanted to make other people think I was a bad person - she had told Queen Angel that she didn't want to be married to me, but then she changed her mind. The Queen told me herself. I just couldn't handle it. I would have been suffocated under the weights of that marriage. I have done my part, my duty was to bring her back to Aegis. If Vladamir or Jaric has a problem with it, I expect he'll find me...will probably be any day now.

Yeah, I look at my past entries and I'm feeling kind of stupid. Its all changed now. You see, I returned to Meriddia and Vladamir has decided that we are married after all. So..I had to get used to the idea, and in all honesty, its not that bad. I realized that I loved Amarra after all. Its funny how things work out.

There's still no sign of Bathory, although no one has made mention of it outloud. Angel has taken the throne of Aegis now, and she claims to not know where Ava is. So I have had to bite my tounge. Maybe Ralean might take up the mission to go find her, but ah, right now I have more concerns on my plate.

Whilst we were all gathered in Merridia, Amarra told me that she was having our child. It was a bit of a shock at first, given Vlad had just snatched back my crown prince title. In short, it means I'm out of a job. I'll figure something out...I'm pleased, can't wait, actually.