Return to the Citadel Steps.

((Note: This action is made AFTER Angel has returned from the Cape Salarain Tavern with Kinsen, Catona & Verran.))

*After Mass, Angel remained at her chair as the nobles left the building of the church. Sat upright, pale and expressionless after a night of no sleep, Angel rose from her chair and once more kneeled infront of the cold and harsh stone steps. Folding her arms infront of her, Angel simply stayed there, attempting to find solice in religion.*


*****At least five hours pass by, and she wakes up, her eyes wet with tears, sunkissed blonde hair fallen across her blue eyes. Her whole body felt stiff as she pushed herself back up onto her feet, her pale blue sliken gown swishing across the floor as she began to walk down the aisle towards the exit.

A guard at the door opened it for her, and she didn't even blink or stop in her stride. She'd made up her mind..something would be done. Changes had to be made. In a whispered voice, all she could do was beg to the powers that be. ******

"Gods give me strength.."

="The Gods have already given you strength, you just have to find it within yourself."

Kinsen steps beside her, with a thin smile. His black armor shines n the pale sunlight, the white cloak over his shoulder seeming to blend with the snow. the hilt of his family's blade is over his shoulder his mace at his hip, and a shield in his hand, as if he had just come from the yard or from a patrol. He looks her over and frowns. "You do not look well, my queen." His silver grey eyes bore into hers, the crescent on his cheek a flat red, like dried paint.=

*It always amazed Angel that just when she thought no one was listening, someone was always there around around the corner. Yet, Kinsen's presence was not one that she'd readily refute so quickly and for him, she managed a smile.*

"I've not been well, Admiral. I can't sleep nor eat for what has been going on here. His Majesty plans to leave for Aurora shortly, there are many things to be planned."

*The truth was that she had no real idea where to begin*

"I am to stay and form my own council. This is news that no doubt His Majesty will talk of to you personally. Unfortunately I am not sure if your new post will be here or in Aurora once again."

=Kinsen takes the news slowly, his brow furrowing slightly in thought. He nods, very slightly. "Whatever the realm demands of me." he looks at Angel, slightly troubled. "This place...this is not my home. But I fear Aurora can no longer claim that right either." He looks at her a long moment. "He goes to retake the keep, then?" his left hand flexes slightly, and a ghost of a smile plays across his lips. He nods again, sighing softly, and looking into the sky as they walk. "there is more than this that troubles you, I think, My Queen." his voice is very low and soft, and he still keeps his eyes in the distance, as if searching.=

*Pausing to stop and listen to what he was saying, Angel rubbed her head as if she could feel a migraine. Taking a deep breath, she started again, pulling out a white hankerchief to dab her eyes.*

"I'm sorry you feel as though you have no place to call a home, I shall do my best to attempt to make it so if it is decided that you should remain. I have requested it personally, but I would not begrudge you time in Aurora if thats what you feel is best."

*She noticed that he was just looking at her and felt conscious of herself. Managing a small smile, she looked a little embarrassed.*

"Do I look that bad?"

*Her hand reached up and pulled her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ears. Her eyes would well up once again.

"Yes, Jaric intends to leave..he has matters he wishes to concern himself with. I can stay, I'm more than capable and I look forward to the independence. I'll be able to prove that I can rule and rule well."

*Her tone rang of confidence, yet Kinsen had been right, there were other matters that had been bothering her of late. He had been the only person to downright ask what was wrong since Jaric had been preparing for the move. Now she wasn't overly keen on discussing it, but something unexplainable made her do so regardless.*

"Firstly, I have heard news that the Crown Prince of Aegis has made a complete fool of me. I requested to Jaric to let him and my good friend Amarra leave as a married couple - I promised Jaric that he would take care of her and that they loved each other. I also told Jaric that their marriage would not be a sham. The Prince - Jared, did not love Amarra, he ran off as soon as they hit the Thunderlands. Naturally, Jaric was less than amused with me. He was especially angered since he had warned me that her death here would be better than what the Baron would grant her. I had hoped Jared would be able to save her from it by speaking for her when they hit Merridia...but no, he deserted her."

*She shook her head in utter dismay, following his gaze to the sky for a few moments.*

"You'll tell me not to blame myself, I know. It doesn't matter, its on my conscience and has been since I found out about it. I was trying to help, which was foolish. I put my faith in them. She was a friend, I shoudn't have allowed that to happen either - but I'm going crazy without natural interaction. This maybe how Jaric lives, but I'm just not used to it. It affected my judgement. I should have just listened to Jaric."

*Turning to walk, Angel sighed softly and cast her eyes downwards. Her voice was low also.*

"It must be affecting my head...I've had such terrible dreams and flashes some of the past..but all of them involving SoulReaver...or Chaaran."

=Kinsen runs a hand absently along the edge of his shield as they walk. "I ask no special treatment for myself or my placement. I go where the realm is in need. Be that to retake our home, or to aid our Queen in her endeavors." he nods slightly, his eyes a dark grey that appreoaches black, the crscent on his face the color of fresh blood. "You can have no doubts in yourself, My Queen. You will rule, and lead, as you must..." he glances to her with a smile. "...and though it may seem there are short supplies of hope and confidence, we have faith."

As she speaks of Jared, his brows furrow and he sighs heavily. "Every coin has two sides, my Queen. Ours is not the duty to condemn a man without just cause." he nods to himself, his free hand resting upon the head of his mace. 'Neither is it our duty to show mercy to traitors and liars." he turns to face her, stopping his steps. "Begging all pardons to Jaric, but he rules without his heart. In all matters he is duty, and faith, and devotion. But there is no heart. He is a man made for war, and kingdoms, born of ice and stone, the result of unforgiving time in an unforgiving land. You, My Queen, must be the fire to his ice. You are the heart of the realm now, and it is not befitting the hopes of the people for their Queen to second guess herself." His voice is low, and firm, the tone of a friend speaking to a friend.

As she speaks of Soulreaver and Charaan, he nods, his own eyes meeting the ground a brief moment. "I remember it sometimes, the taint he left on my skin, inside of me, the feel of it. the stink." he suppresses a shiver and lifts his eyes to hers. "Tell me of your dreams, My Queen, and what troubles you so."=

((Beautiful post.))

*Angel always had admiration for Kinsen and his delicate way with words. He had an idle sense of just what to say and had mastered the art of doing so perfectly.*

"My doubts are because I have feelings. I'm human, after all and I try my best to put them aside, but still they are there. Should I ignore them for the sake of ruling? Yes, I should, but its far easier said than done, I assure you. I care for everyone I've ever met, the Aurorans are all I have and I do everything within my power to take care of them. Must you inisist that I turn as cold as Jaric? Either I am the heart of Aurora or not. I cannot be the heart yet not feel for my people and their situations, yet when I do so, it clouds my judgement."

*She didn't like his tone, however, when Kinsen spoke of a Queen who second guessed herself. It was a shameful slap in the face that he thought that of her, yet she knew in her heart that of late, he wasn't wrong.

It was a fact that she was well aware of. Lately her King had been somewhere else in his workings, and soon enough he wouldn't be there at all. It had caused Angel to change her own behavior, and she recognized how needy she had been.

What was she clinging to? Jaric's attentions. Only now was she realizing how pathetic that was, yet it was her weakness. Angel always placed hard focus on her religion and her rule and all along she just secretly wanted more from Jaric. So now, standing before Kinsen, she returned his smile at his mention of hope, remaining silent then until he had finished talking, his eyes lowered at the mention of SoulReaver and Chaaran.*

"I dream that.. SoulReaver is trapped inside the Dracolich, that he was never really dead at all. I see his demon face over the top of Chaarans or they merge. The great dead dragon...I think its an imposter. I fear, and I dream that SoulReaver has not left us, but is merely hiding its soul within Chaaran."

*The thought made her shiver. SoulReaver still had the ability to make her blood chill with fear.*

=Kinsen shakes his head. "I fear that is one lesson jaric was never tempered with. You do not learn to ignore human emotion. You temper your logic with them. There are two sides to each coin, My Queen, there is logic and reasoning, and there is fire, passion, emotion. Often, we forget that though they are opposing sides, they are still faces of the same coin. You must balance your fire with your ice, because they are you."

"The Gods give us strength, My Queen. Winter is a harsh mistress, but she yields to Spring in her time. There are no easy paths that the righteous can follow, save apathy. We are winter's children because she has taught us to be swift in our justice. Harsh in our judgment. Unyielding and stubborn as ice flows. We tend to forget that Winter tells us that the lone wolf does not survive. That warmth and solidarity are our saviors. Winter makes strange bedfellows. I assure you, the stories of the dragon knights and the Stag's minions sharing a fire for survival are no exaggerration. We are the children of Winter because she has taught us, and we have learnd, not because we are in her image. Winter yields to Spring, My Queen, as ice does to the sun. And we do our duty, as always, in the eyes of the Gods."

He smiles thinly. "Perhaps I should have been a priest. Still, there are enough there that would condemn my words as blasphemy. Still, I serve the realm, and the faith. Not the king nor the church, only my duty. Those were my vows, and I speak with no fear now."

as she speaks of Charaan and Soulreaver, Kinsen touches a hand to his breastplate, over the scar where AngelFire has entered his chest. For a long moment it seems as if he doesn't breathe. he slowly nods. "If your dreams hold to reality, My Queen, then the struggle has not ended. And the beast still needs to be destroyed."

he looks at her pointedly. "We were given a second chance, by the grace of sacrifice, and no mere war would warrant the cost, or the gift." he was speaking of himself and Catona, resurrected at the price of Angel's unborn child. The ressurrection of two of the fallen faithful. He looks at her, his voice quiet. "If the Dark One lives, and the Beast is his, it needs be destroyed. Perhaps..." he looks down at his open hand and flexes the fingers, closing them into a fist. "Perhaps that is the question we are in answer to."=

(Sorry for the delay, this would be my second attempt to post this))

*Angel concentrated on Kinsen - poised on his every word. Her eyes that conveyed usual friendliness darkened and became hard, sharp and intensive. As he spoke of fire and ice, she thought to herself how much she liked the term. It was most fitting, and thus it raised a small smile from her.

Captivated by what he was saying, she let him continue uninterupted. His talk of the Gods granting strength made Angel nod in agreement. Indeed, they did, and she hoped their strength alone would be enough to face the harsh reality of what might be going on with Jaric.*

"I have sought answers from the Gods, but for now they are content to just listen. No matter, I came here for solice and peace. How odd that these mere stone walls can cause so much comfort? Some might find them depressing and confining, I see stability and security...it is my ambition that I am able to allow Winters children the same. Its my desire that the populance trusts my judgement and this is why I was affected so badly by the sun prince and his rotten mistake with Amarra.

When I made the decision to fight against SoulReaver, I did it because I wanted to, because in my heart I was loyal to the cause and my faith. There wasn't a doubt in my heart that it wasn't the right thing to do. I serve Jaric blindly and you, the twins..Jaric, the Aurorans, I gladly would have died in service. Even before my marriage to Jaric, I was in love for what you all stood for. You all hold such discipline. You're a harsh people because you've learned to climb a steeped ladder and this is what makes you all stronger. Its that very fighting spirit that I fell in love with, now I have to guide it with my own, because Jaric will not be here to do so. Its not an easy feat, rest assured, it shall be done.

None of what you have said is blasphemy in my eyes, but then perhaps I'm bias. No, instead you've done well to inspire me, and I thank you for this. As beautiful as I find ice, there's nothing wrong with fire to fuel its spirit and I hope with all my heart that the Aurorans understand this under my rule. Perhaps they will be hard to disuade, but lets give them time, shall we?"

*The sparkle of hope was back within her spirit again and it was obvious in Angel's sudden change of demenor. Her back was straight and clearly there was an inner strength that had sparked back to life once more. She smiled, matching his own as he spoke of being a priest.*

"Truely Kinsen, I do not know what I would have done without you...when you passed..I had lost my best friend and honestly I was never able to recover from it. When I look at you, I try not to think of the child that I lost, for regardless, I am ever grateful for your service and your sheer dedication to this realm."

*Angel's eyes averted downwards as she shook her head at his thoughts on SoulReaver, remembering how harsh the whole affair had been. As he finished on the final note of the beast needing to be destroyed, Angel clasped her hands together and rubbed them. The emotional and physical scars of her own remained as before.*

"If that is what needs be, than that is what shall happen. Our King will be informed on the matter, and I shall see what course he wants to take. Be prepared, and inform Catona of such. We need to be rid of it, I am done playing its useless games. Such dire evil cannot remain, I agree."

*She began to walk again, her mind set on Jaric's office. Then she paused in her stride, half turning her body to face Kinsen.*

"Know Kinsen..your time here will not be wasted. You sacrificed your own death, your time at peace, and you serve so willingly that its admirable on such a high level."

*Pausing with a sigh, she continued with difficulty.*

"..I do not blame you for what happened. My child wasn't ready for the world and I do not want you to feel guilty for such. Its my own personal loss, and I'm sure time will heal."

*Now she managed a reassuring small smile, looking for a reaction from him.*

=Kinsen listens with a smile ghostly upon his lips as she speaks, allowing her to take her course. The change in her spirit lightened his heart. He nods as she tells him her decision to speak to jaric. He snaps a fist to his chest in a salute.

As she begins to walk, his steps hesitate, and so when she turns towards him, he is a few steps away. As she speaks, his eyes never waiver from hers, the harsh grey a quicksilver light in his face, his expression passive, his voice quiet. "My Queen, I do not call faith a sacrifice." He lowers his eyes a moment, placing a hand over his breastplate, over the scar in his chest. For a moment, he stands there, lost in something deeper. His guantleted hand clenches slowly into a fist, and he opens his eyes again, silver pools in his face, his expression radiating a deep inner peace. "I made my vows, to the faith, to the blade, the king, the realm. And to myself. I held them all. There is no more to a man than the sum of his beliefs, and the strength of his convictions. Do not seek to reaffirm my purpose, no more than i will not attempt to apologize. Come what may, Angel, faith is our sword and our shield." it was one of the very fewest times he had ever spoken her name, the first since she had become his queen.=

"I do not call faith a sacrifice..."

*Those words of his swirled within her mind as a whisper. At this moment Angel considered how different she might be compared to him. It was a sharp reality that perhaps she had seen everything that she had given to the Aurorans as a sacrifice, yet it was done so with the utmost of loyalty and devotion. Her intentions towards the realm had come at a cost, only to herself.

Angel's blue hues remained fixed upon his until Kinsen moved his fist to his chest, which caused her to take the mildest of steps backward. His voice, even hushed and lowered, still resonated against the walls of the silent chaple. Those scars, the painful reminder of all that was suffered.

She allowed him time to gather his private thoughts, her own preocuppied by SoulReaver and Chaaran. She remembered the fight as if it were yesterday, the upward struggles to remain alive. Those who had fallen. Her stomach felt twisted, and her hand reached to it also, one hand rising to her forehead.

Looking up, Angel lost all innocence in her expression. Fear of the enemy and its past was promptly replaced by anger. Her fist clenched as inner strength came forth, and she allowed her hand upon her head to fall loosly by her side. Decisions needed to be made, they could not be rearranged for another time - for it was of the essence now, she realized. Her tone was that of a commander.*

"Then let us use faith as such a fort, for we have much to prepare for. Have the navy on stand- by, I shall make arrangements for the land troops with Jaric. The search party for the undead dragon will begin. Eitherway, we'll find the Dracolich and put an end to this mess. Faith shall lead us forward, my friend."

*She granted him a nod, with the corners of her lips curving into a small smile. Once more she walked, heading towards the war room and once again her stride were with utmost determination.*

=Kinsen cannot help but grin at her sudden change in demeanor, a note of pride slipping into his expression as he nods to her deeply. "Your will be done, My Queen." His eyes flash liquid silver, snapping a salute so quick it seems his fist never touched the breastplate over his torso wre it not for the sharp sound.

he turns with her towards the exit and branches off from her to head towards the shipyards, his stride determined and light.=