The requested discussion

((Continued from A chapel visit ))

~leaves the room and walks down the hall in a random direction, not really sure which way to go, but she walks to slowly to make it clear she isn't trying to run away from him. She speaks softly, her voice clear but flat, every trace of emotion shoved to some hidden corner of her mind where she can deal with it in her own time~

There aren't many private places I know of in Icehold. Feel free to lead the way if you know of someplace I don't. Otherwise, what can I do for you?

~He looked awkward yet concerned, and didn't really know where to go either, so he simply stood in the hallway, with his hands in his pockets.~

"Listen, I know things haven't always worked out between us, but we've had some good times too..."

~Sighing, he knew this wasn't going to be easy and for a second, he shrugged his shoulders.~

"Whatever your reasons for not liking me...we need to pull together and make sure we can get out of here..or it might not be alive. And if we do die, then I don't want to die with a heavy heart. You hurt me, I'm still hurting and I suppose I'll never understand why you left me the way you did."

~leans against the wall with a slight frown, watching him quietly for a long moment before responding in a gentle tone~

I didn't leave you, Jared. I wanted to tell you where I'd gone and why, but I was told not to. You can ask the queen for yourself, if you like. My leaving Aegis had nothing to do with you. Whether you believe it or not, I didn't leave the party that night intending to come here. You know I'd never have made it, one way or another, if I'd stopped to explain before I did it. And besides that, I was afraid you'd get into trouble if you knew. I watched Queen Bathory try to kill you once. I didn't want anyone hurt because of me, you least of all.

Hurt you? I knew it might, but that wasn't why I did it. I'd trusted you to know me well enough at least to have let me explain, when the time came. I didn't expect you to approve, but I didn't expect to be insulted and threatened, publicly or privately.

~shakes her head thoughtfully~

I don't want to get out of here. I've made my decisions, and I will stand by them. I would rather die at King Jaric's command than at someone else's whim, if it comes to that. Even if I wanted to go back to Aegis, what do you think they would do to me? I can only imagine, knowing what I know of your mother and Lord Vladamir, that I'd likely wish I'd died here anyway.

~He stood and listened to everything she had to say and yet he found that he had nothing to say in return. His mind was heavy with thoughts, and he swam through the confusion of it all. Eventually, he swallowed and spoke quietly~

"Amarra, I love you...these people - the Aurorans, they don't care what happens to you - but I do. I don't care if you don't want to go back to Meriddia, you don't have to. But please, whatever you think of me, don't stay here, I beg of you. Why does it sound like you've given up? You talk of dying as if there is no other option now. What has made you think like this? We should just go away, together. "

~He exhaled deeply and continued~

"I shouted at you because I was frustrated, becase I cannot comprehend whats going on here. Its the way I do things, you know this. But lets put it aside for the sake of survival and at least get out of here alive, shall we?"

~shakes her head slowly, thoughtfully, and looks down at the floor~

I've run out of options. I didn't just come here asking for protection. I pledged myself to King Jaric and Aurora. He... he didn't accept, and it's pretty clear that he views me with contempt, at best, but I did it, and I can't take that back. I'm already a traitor to Aegis. Would you have me betray everyone else, too? I'm not sure I could live with myself, if I survived at all. I'd have the rulers of two realms after me. King Jaric doesn't strike me as the type to forgive and forget. Queen Bathory... and Lord Vladamir.

~her voice changes, dropping so low as to be almost unheard~

There has never been anyone or anything that has frightened me as much as he does. I would prefer to be dead than to ever face him again.

~looks up at Jared again after a moment. Her eyes are blank, as if the life has gone out of them, except for a spark of fear that she pushes away~

There are charges against me here, now. I never meant to cause any trouble, but it seems that's all I've done for a long time. I thought if I came here, everything would be okay again. It's funny. I spent so long trying to convince everyone that I wasn't the naive little girl they all took me for, but in the end, I guess I was the one who was wrong. Even if King Jaric would release me, I have nowhere else to go.

~It would take a few minutes for her words to sink in, and he needed to find the right reply for her. He knew his brash and blunt tones would not get him anywhere in this instance. Raising his hand slowly, Jared found himself rubbing his face out of tiredness. Suddenly, all this made him feel old. Speaking softly, he exhaled.~

"I think you have to face your fears, even if you do not want to. What do you have to loose now? Can it get any worse? Go back to Aegis, even if you do not go back to Meriddia. You could live in the forest...anywhere...we could live there together. But here..it doesn't suit you. You'll be used as a pawn, as we all already have. We need to go back to Jaric and talk to him...what else can be done?"

~smiles faintly~

You and I both know you wouldn't be happy living in the woods somewhere, even if we were allowed. You're a prince. You need attention almost as much as I need water.

~laughs softly to take any sting out of her words~

If King Jaric sends me back to Aegis, I will go, and deal with whatever happens. But I can't imagine I'd be welcomed back with open arms, unless those arms mean something unpleasant for me. I gave him my oath, and accepted or not, I can't take it back. I won't. It's all I have left. The only control I have over my own life.

I'd like very much to find some quiet place to just be out of the way for a while, but that's not going to happen. You're a prince of Aegis. The Crown Prince, if Lord Vladamir's letter has any merit at all. They wouldn't give you that title and just let you wander off into obscurity. And I don't think you'd be happy very long even if they did.

I can go talk to King Jaric. I don't know how much good it will do. Probably I'll just make him angry again. But given some things that have happened since I got here, it might be best for me to go alone.

~looks down at the floor again~

You know your mother appeared in a dream I had. She was really there. I don't know how she did it, but she did. She told me she wasn't going to let me go. And... that living forever could be a worse punishment than dying. If she is that angry, what would Lord Vladamir do to me?

~starts to shiver, losing the distance she's drawn around herself for the moment~

~The idea of the title "Crown Prince" had at first made him cringe, yet now he realized it had its added benefits. Bathory and Vladamir would indeed want him back alive, if for nothing else out of principal.~

"You need to tell Jaric you are married to me..if in your heart you feel you are so - then it is no lie. Those who are married do not need a ring to say so if the gods have already made it happen. This makes you as Royal as I am - and it wouldn't look good for him to behead a Princess...if thats what you think it is he is going to do. I know you don't think so - but this title that Vladamir gave us might be the only thing that saves us. Bathory isn't going to be seen killing you any more than Jaric."

~With a small shrug, that was all he could offer~

"As for the dreams...I can offer no comfort, but lets just focus on the here and now, shall we?"

~makes a face~

But it is deceitful! There was no wedding. I wasn't even asked!

~cringes and sighs softly, quickly shaking her head~

I don't mean it that way. You asked me, and I said yes, of course. We'd planned for it to happen. But there was never anything more than a plan. We're both being manipulated, and I hate that. It isn't fair. Not to either of us. And it doesn't insure my safety any more than anything else would. They don't need to be seen to kill me. They can do far worse with me alive.

~covers her face with her hand, confusion and frustration evident in her posture~

It was never that I didn't want to be married to you. It's that it was finalized without my even being there. There was no wedding, and that's something that's always been important to me. I can't think of any reason for Lord Vladamir to have done what he did except to get King Jaric to make me go back. Yet... it's been recommended by... others... to go along with it, too.

~He stared at her for a few moments, his fist curled infront of his mouth.~

"I've heard enough. We'll talk later."

~Then, turning his back he began to walk away with nothing more than a shake of his head.~

~watches him go with a deep sigh, beyond frustrated, but there doesn't seem to be anything she can do about that. For that matter, there doesn't seem to be much she can do about anything. Still, Angel and Jared both suggesting the same thing makes her wonder. She knows if she stops to wonder too long, if she lets her fear drag her under again, she will drift wherever the current takes her and may never rise again. Squaring her shoulders, she sets off down the hall toward the King's office.~